Cream of Tartar, mmm...good?

I have enjoyed cooking for friends and family this past year. I like to experiment and try new things, and I often miss the mark. But, sometimes, I hit a real winner. I made a soup last January, (maybe it was late December, definitely after Christmas). Maybe it was potato, or chicken and wild rice. I don't know. What I do know is that it wasn't the texture I wanted. I knew flour would thicken it up, but I knew there was also another ingredient that would do the same job, and I didn't want the soup to have a floury taste. Now whether flour changes the taste is something I don't know, but at the moment I was convinced that I would not use flour. So I searched the cabinet thinking when I saw what I was looking for, I would know it. Eventually I came upon Cream of Tartar. Everyone was in the living room playing Guitar hero, and I risked and trusted myself to know that Cream of Tartar was the ingredient that would thicken the soup. After retrieving a cup or two from the soup I whisked in my magic ingredient. Then returned it to the soup. That didn't really thicken it, so I figured I should add more Cream of Tartar. How many times did I conclude it needed more Cream of Tartar you may be wondering. Oh, maybe 5 times I extracted soup broth, added Cream of Tartar and added the mixture back to the soup.

Guess what? Cream of Tartar is not a thickening agent. Corn Starch is, flour is, but Cream of Tartar is not. But, I served it. It had a slight bitter taste to it, but it was eaten and appreciated by the crew that had assembled to gather for food and fun with friends. I admitted my process of preparing the soup and laughed along with my friends and family at my mishap. How often do we find ourselves so certain only to find out we are totally wrong? Luckily with this meal, no one suffered from my stubbornness. What if I had just asked the group what they thought? Or, called my mom? Or looked up on the Internet? What was I thinking in that one moment that made me so certain of the wrong ingredient? I find myself in that place not just with food, but also with relationships. I can convince myself of a motive or interpretation that is absolutely opposite from a friend's intention. My inclination to "read into" or to accept my own answer instead of just asking the question has caused some major rifts with people that I care about.

I am blessed to say that I have seen reconciliation with one of my dear friends who I had hurt due to my stubbornness and unwavering commitment to my own ideas. I was as resolute in my purpose and ideas as when I was adding Cream of Tartar to my soup. And the bitter taste that resulted caused pain and distance between someone that I respected and loved. Misunderstanding and an inability to stop and consider the thoughts and feelings of another created an environment where resolution and reconciliation was made impossible. Not impossible I guess, since today I can say that I have apologized and been lovingly forgiven. It was a highlight of my year for sure. Grace and love at its best. I pray that for many friendships in my life and in the life of those around me. I have learned however, that it will happen only in God's time. Where I have tried to push my agenda, or dictate a direction, I have pushed people away. So, I wait. I pray. I weep for the loss of those friendships and relationships that suffer the consequences of our human inability. I rejoice in God's ability to make all things new.

I will continue to risk trying new recipes and adding my own twists. There are times when I need ask questions and wait for answers. But, I will not stop trying. Sometimes the results may not work out to make the perfect meal. But, sometimes, the result will be better than I could have ever imagined. And in both cases, I hope I get to share the bad and the good with those that I love. It is a risk worth taking.