Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I want a body bug


Watching Biggest Loser
I want one of those body bugs. Can you imagine? It tells you how many calories you are burning as you move throughout the day. You can input your calories into a software program, then attach the body bug and find out how your body is converting energy. AWESOME.

Initially, this prospect would be quite overwhelming and depressing. I mean, I don't want to admit the reality that I take in more calories than I actually burn off. I wonder is I would adjust my food intake, or my activity level. Just not sure at this point. I would have to seriously consider the consequences of each. If I took in fewer calories, I would have to sacrifice the pleasure of enjoying certain foods that I LOVE! If I were to increase my activity, I am sure I would feel the extra wear and tear in my back, feet, and legs. So, though it is hypothetical, I am thinking I would have the best results if I increased my activity level other than sacrificing food. To be honest, my dietary habits are not too bad. I should eat more fruits and veggies, but I like to eat healthily.

If I really had my way, I would have a body bug that not only monitored my calorie burning, but also monitored my brain and thought activity. It would show me the number of positive thoughts in contrast to negative thoughts that went through my mind each day. It would also allow me to get bonus points for inputting positive thoughts. So if I invested in positive information going into my head, I would reap the benefits by having a more optimistic disposition. Can you imagine?

Most of us, or at least from my personal experience, doesn't even realize how out of balance our thoughts tend to be. We know that it takes energy to keep our heart and mind out of the dumpster, but we don't know how much time we use up by not paying attention to the thoughts that meander somewhere in the void that becomes our self-image and ego. I don't put the energy in to climbing out of the dumpster until I have fallen in, been buried, and had the lid dropped with a brick put on top to keep the rodents out. The rodents would be welcome guests in contrast to the thoughts that got me into the darkness to start with.

Hanging in the limbo of not investing or accurately observing the thoughts that are coming into my mind and heart is definitely what gets me in trouble. Just as I wouldn't knowingly eat food and deprive myself of activity in order to gain weight and create risks that would have life long consequences; I don't knowingly inject or digest thoughts that are knowingly negative, harmful, and self-loathing. That happens through ignorance and apathy. This self-deprecating thought process happens as mundanely and haphazardly as weight gain. Nobody knowingly aspires to obesity and health hazards. Nobody knowingly aspires for self-hatred and darkness. Oh to have a body bug that would indicate the imbalance of thoughts that threatens our personal, societal, and global spirit.

Luckily, I have a few people in my life who have been willing to be a "thought" bug for my spirit. They see when the garbage can is starting to close in on me, and they gently, lovingly, and prayerfully offer to catch the lid. Sometimes there is too much garbage via my negative thoughts to instantly extend their hand and help me out. They do what they can to keep the lid open so I can fight my way through to the light. Only then can they offer a hand via their love and support. In return, I have been privileged to catch the lid, move some garbage, and extend a hand to a friend who is unknowingly drowning in darkness. I don't have the answers, and I don't know their darkness. But, I do know the truth of each person's value and worth. It is inherent in each one of us from the day that God saw us on this earth. Thank goodness it isn't based on our calorie intake, or our activity level, or our personal thought investment, or the perception of the world around us.

But, just as having a body bug doesn't insure weight loss and/or health, a "thought" bug wouldn't insure a positive self-worth or intention. Because we don't always do what we should, when we should, how we should. We do what we can, when we can, how we can. So maybe it is enough to invest through in those around us so we can catch the lid and hold it for awhile so someone can see the light. For tonight, that will be enough.

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