Hope

Hope is what arrives when tomorrow comes. Since tomorrow can't arrive, I am certainly thankful that hope does. I pray for more hope today so tomorrow will be worth waiting for. Then when it comes, I am hopeful for the next tomorrow.

That all sounds complicated and confusing. But, sometimes that is all that we have. We don't have security. We don't have protection from life's struggles. Even trust and respect are unattainable some days. There is always hope. I don't think it always feels the way we want it to though. Hope seems like such a positive and uplifting force. We generally don't hope for negative experiences, situations, or circumstances for ourselves or others. At least I know that I don't hope for that. I hope that there will be more peace tomorrow than today. More acceptance, more joy, more comfort, more patience, more life experiences hoped for tomorrow.

But, when tomorrow comes, and the reality of today sets in, many of those things hoped for don't come to fruition. I guess then there is the disappointment that has to be accepted before a new hope for tomorrow can begin. Some days the disappointment lasts a brief moment, and other times it is a feeling that lingers and threatens to distract me from hoping in a better tomorrow. But, luckily, today is not that day.

Though there were definitely disappointments, (yucky weather, runny eggs, cold, bad hair, and failure to live up to the person I long to be), I saw such great glimpses of a reality that was better than yesterday. I was able to breathe through disappointments and recognize the gift that God was trying to give me. My attention was quickly able to turn to the here and now, and the hope for tomorrow instead of looking at the past. I had an awesome conversation with a friend who I have really wanted to connect with. There was time, energy, and wit in the moment. I was thankful and appreciative for this gift.

Then, I went to one of my favorite places, The Fresh Market. I love walking into the floral department which is just inside the door. The beautiful roses, the hydrangea, and the tulips whispered reassurance that spring is going to arrive, though it doesn't seem like it in the gloom of this dreary day. They epitomized hope. I enjoyed sharing my flowers with a friend who isn't around much anymore. As I visited with her, hope was confirmed and strengthened. I knew that the disappointment of today would be a distant memory in the days to come. There is great comfort in knowing that one day, I will not feel the disappointment or fear of this world, but will be free and able to love and care without judgment or condemnation.

Those flowers were added to others that have lived and maintained their beauty and aroma for over 3 weeks. I have added water each day and watched as despite the passing of time, there was life and vibrancy. Though I am not at all crafty, I do enjoy arranging flowers, and so I spent a good bit of time doing just that. It was peaceful and joy filled, this effort to combine colors and shapes within the vase. I guess the word that best describes that moment was, contentment. There was contentment in working with these perfect representations of hope. I could touch them, smell them, feel them and work with their elements to increase my awareness of the goodness of a great God.

Sometimes I don't see the hope for tomorrow until I see the disappointments of today. I can't hope for a great cup of coffee tomorrow unless I taste a less than great cup of coffee today. Otherwise, I would have no need to hope for more. I would have found the great cup of coffee and look no further. Singing a song today, and realizing that my high b-flat is not quite what I want it to be, allows me to practice and hope for a better result tomorrow. That disappointment is not a judgment on my ability or lack thereof. But, it is a reality that keeps me hoping and striving for better. So too, does disappointment in relationships lead to hope for better in the future. Regardless of the relationship between friend, spouse, parent, sibling, or child, disappointment is inevitable. But it is through those disappointments that I am able to hope for better tomorrow. Maybe it will come through reconciliation. Maybe it will come through change of behavior. Or, maybe, it will be realized through acceptance of circumstances beyond my control. I will keep hoping for a tomorrow that is more peaceful and joyful than today. Knowing that God wants all good things for me reassures me that He does want me to hope for more tomorrow.

I am thankful for the disappointments of today and the hope for tomorrow.